Blog Post #2 Option 4

Blog Post #2 Option 4

The article pointed out many ideas regarding women who are single and pregnant and how they are being viewed as. But one of the statement that stood out was “That the incidence of adoption, that is, the transfer of babies from women of one social classification or group (within the same country or transnationally), may be very accurate index of the vulnerable status of women in the country of the birthmothers.” (Solinger, pg. 67) My interpretation of this statement suggests that women who give up their child for adoption will have some kind of label on them. Labeling someone can put them on the spotlight and in turn question about what they did. This can be uncomfortable because then they will wonder if what they did is right or wrong.

Another statement that I find surprising is “Girls and women who became pregnant while unmarried (and had no prospects that the father would make them “honest women”) were products of poor environments and the weakened  moral and physical fiber that resulted from growing up in urban slums, with for example, alcoholic parents and subnormal IQs.” (Solinger, pg.69) I disagree with this statement because there are many reasons to why a woman would get pregnant. This can be either positive or negative depending on the situation or how someone looks at the outcome. Without knowing the whole story before coming to a conclusion is a bit judgmental.  I think that by judging someone who you do not know is not fair because they are being treated differently from others without getting them an opportunity to explain.  Also, why do we need a definition for a single mother who is pregnant? In some kind of way, it is almost like degrading them of who they are and for them to feel powerless in society.

Chia C.

Blog Post 2 option 1

There were a few major general concerns from the Haiti reading by Maureen Kelley (2010). First, she stresses that many people take advantage of adoption when a natural disaster occurs like the earthquake in Haiti (374). I understand that people adopt because they see this as a positive intention to help save the children. However, there are some cases where the parents of these children are searching for them and still wanting them. During this time I do not think that the parents are capable to go through with deciding to give up their children because they are in the moment of a traumatic experience and therefore, they are thinking only in that time of stress to give up their child when really they do want to keep their child. Kelley gives an example where a mother was approached after the earthquake, “She acted in desperation and with the thought that her child was being taken somewhere safe, in temporary custody of the foreign volunteers (374).” I do not think that it is a good idea to adopt in the middle of a crisis. It would be better if the Haitian people were provided with resources and other needs during this time. If there are children who have lost their parents due to the earthquake then I would think that that child can be placed for adoption.

The other concern Kelley addresses is child trafficking or child slavery (376-377). “UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children are trafficked each year and average of two thousand Haitian children a year are trafficked to the Dominican Republic, and sold into slavery and prostitution (376).” This is a very disturbing idea to think that someone wants to adopt a child to provide a family and a home for them. When in reality the child is a mere-means for people who take them and force them in the business of child trafficking. Kelley suggests foster parents to create temporary homes for displaced and traumatized children (379). I have concerns about this because the foster parents may become attached to the child and it would be difficult to have the child separate the foster parents in the end. Or how would the foster parents be capable of taking in a child who has been traumatized? I would imagine that the parents need pre-training to care for these children. 

-Ka L.

Blog Post # 2, Option #2

                In this blog post, I will be discussing the differences in “Choice” and “Rights” in regards to adoption in 1945-1973.  In Chapter 3 of Solingers book, she talked a lot about how society viewed unwed pregnant women.  She discussed and provided many stories given to her from women that placed their children up for adoption, due to the social stigma’s that surrounded the situation that these women found themselves in.  The stories provided by these birth-mothers displayed a situation that most felt forced into and most if not all of these women, felt as if they lost a part of themselves the day they were forced to give up their child.

                In the last pages of chapter 3, Solinger talks about choice.  She stated, “Worst yet for these women, “Choice” was integrated so smoothly and completely into the lifestyle perquisites of contemporary (white, middle-class) women” (pg. 98).  I think what she was trying to portray here was that the word choice was used as justification for the actions of the government, parents, doctors, etc. during this time frame.  Since all the girls/women signed the release forms so that their child could be adopted, even if it was sometimes forced upon them.  Society in later decades would say that these women had a “choice” in giving up their child or relinquished their children as stated within the book.  This as a matter of fact was not the case.  These women were threatened by those closest to them, made out to psychologically disturbed, and were thought of as unfit to be mothers (pgs. 69-71).  In other words, the supposed “choice” they posed in the lights of their pregnancies was swayed to please those around them.  Therefore, the "choices" these women were making were no longer their own.    

                The reason that Solinger prefers the terminology of “rights” is because a right is something no one can take away or argue.  A women has a choice to keep her child, but a person’s choice can be easily be manipulated into someone else’s choice.  A “right” is permanent and something that is thought of as universal (generally).     

Lisa Ritzer    

Blog Post 2, Option 2- Julie Thurmes

 Blog Post 2, Option 2

When reading the chapters in Solinger’s book, I came to realize some of the dangers in language choice when it comes to adoption. In the reading Solinger stated, “almost everybody believes that on some level, birthmothers make a choice to give their babies away” (Solinger, pp. 67). I must admit at the beginning of this reading I was under the false impression that birthmothers made some sort of a choice, albeit a difficult one, to give their babies away. Solinger has opened my eyes to the reality that “adoption is rarely about mothers’ choices; it is, instead, about the abject choicelessness of some resourceless women” (Salinger, pp. 67).

            The word “choice” carries a deeper meaning in relation to adoption than I had first believed. “Choice” implies that there was more than one option. In adoption during the time periods discussed in Salinger’s chapters, there truly was no other option given to many of these women. Salinger discusses how many of the birthmothers at the time were unaware of the resources they had access to, thus forcing them to give up their child.  An example of this is when a woman who worked for the Illinois Department of Public Aid found said, “Oh my god, this was available to me…nobody told me about it” after finding out years later that she had been eligible for public aid  (Salinger, pp. 76). Besides the lack of resources that many of these women experienced, they also had parents, doctors, and birth fathers who were emotionally and physically forcing them to put their children up for adoption. There really was no choice involved for many of these women when it came to their adoption process,  thus using the word “choice” is inaccurate.

            The word “choice” has its faults when it comes to adoption, so what word should replace it? Solinger suggests the word “rights” should be used more often. In the reading it is discussed that birth mothers have the right to mother their children, even under difficult circumstances, and I agree. That is not to say that a child should not be taken from dangerous and abusive homes if necessary, but rather that a mother’s circumstance, such as being a single mother, does not give anyone the right to take a child away from that mother, as was once believed. Salinger explained this concept well when he said, “the choice of a middle-class couple to adopt a baby had to be counterweighted by the birthmother’s right to be the mother of her child” (Solinger, pp. 96). Respecting this concept gives the birth mother more power when deciding on adoption. I believe it is important that we continue to support the rights of birth mothers, adopted children, and adoptive parents so that the adoption process can be a positive one for all involved.

 Julie Thurmes

Blog One) Home Study Questionaire

My experience of answering the questions as a prospective parent was interesting and thought provoking. Overall, the right questions were asked to prospective parents because these questions give them in preparation for their adoption. To become a parent is not a simple thing where everyone is naturally a good parent. I think these questions are to let the agency know that they are placing a child with parents that are in good standing and that they have shown the agency that adoption is taken seriously. I think it is great that people can adopt if they fit all the criteria like having a perfect background check, financially capable, and so on. But, what about the parents who want to adopt but, do not meet the standards that the agency looks for in parents? I am sure that even if they take they do not have the financial qualifications or something else that they still do take adoption seriously. Does this mean they cannot adopt? As for the questions, I was only confused and thought this was a weird question: “Any brushes with the law? Please describe” (Home Study, p.3). The question should be more direct and clear in what it is asking the perspective parent. I would add these two questions what do you value in your marriage/ support group? How long have you been married? These questions will help the agency learn about my relationship with my partner. I think that the child's culture would be a major part of how I raise my child. I think that the child's race/ethnic background would be a difficult decision because, in the Hmong community we just do not have many people who adopt in general. If I were in a situation where I adopted a black or Hispanic or not Asian it would be the most uncommon thing and people would judge me for a fact. Even if I still love my child as my own I would have the fear of my child getting teased or not treated the same as any other child. This is something that I would need to prepare myself for in the future and my child's future. 

            I think that my answers will give the agency a good sense that I would be a good parent. I mentioned by career as a high school counselor. I like to be someone who students can trust and turn to when they need help. I gave a good description of myself that I am compassionate, nurturing, caring, Hmong, Christian faith, fun spirited, loving, strong, open-minded, independent, a listener, humorous, trustworthy, and loyal. I value family a lot and my parents would be very supportive in my decision of adopting because of their respect to me and their love of children. I don’t have any brushes with the law and I have not been previously married. I want to adopt because I have friends who have expressed to me how much they desire to have a mother/father figure for themselves. They either have lost a parent due to death or divorce. I think that is what is most important that every child would want a parent to love them. I am thinking of the children and what I can do for them. I am a person who is very family oriented and I love children. It would break my heart if I were to find out that I could not have children of my own. Therefore, to be able to adopt or that there are birth mothers who are brave and willing to go through this process is an enormous blessing for me. It would change my life to be able to adopt a child and the child would mean the world to me.

            My last reflections on this home study questionnaire, is that it is a very meaningful and useful process for prospective parents. I don’t want to say that adoptive parents are more careful or that they love their adopted child more than non-adoptive parents do to their children but, that they go through a different longer and harder process to have a child. Which may influence how serious and willing they are to adopt. Some times non-adoptive parents do not think about these questions. These questions are very standard and simple to learn and know about the prospective parents. If I were to really adopt a child I would need to make sure I was mentally, spiritually, economically, emotionally, and physically prepared in making this big commitment. Life is about chances. 

-Ka L.

Blog Post #1

Blog Post #1 Home Study Questionnaire

As a prospective parent who is thinking about adoption, the questionnaire that was being provided from the Children’s Home Society and Family Services was a lot to intake at once. As I look at the questions some of them were personal and the others pertain to what I do or have for a living. The questions that I feel that were right to ask were the ones where they want to know more about me such as job, hobbies, spouse, decisions, etc. The question that I thought they should take out or worded differently was “Do you use alcohol or drugs?” (Home study,  pg. 5) because it seems puzzling. I mean the question that regard to the use of alcohol is not clear. I mean having wine during dinner or drinking beer during a football game does that fall under the use of alcohol? The question should be re-worded to how often you consume an alcoholic beverage? The other question that should be taken out is “What are your major assets and liabilities?” (Home study, pg. 5) because do they need to know how wealthy I need to be. I know money plays a major role but is this necessary because what if I do not have any assets would it lower my chance to adopt a child.

I have to admit that there were a lot of questions and I was feeling stress and a bit frustrated. If I was to take the questions seriously it might take my whole evening because I want to make a good impression. In addition, the answers that I provided would give the agency a good idea of who I am as a prospective parent. I think I would be a good candidate because I answer the questions truthfully and provided concrete examples to elaborate most of my answers.  

Overall, I think the questions was a way to evaluate me as a parent and how much time and effort I am willing to put into the adoption process and if I can handle the stress/frustration. From babysitting my niece and nephew, it was hard work but yet manageable. Also, the questions would give the agency a sense on how I would care and nurture my child.

Chia C.

Blog Post #1: The Home Study Questionnaire

     As my first official blog, I was asked to analyze a home questionnaire that prospective adoptive parents would have to answer during the process.  The questionnaire had questions that pertained to a person’s personal view of themselves, their relationship, extended and close family relationships, finances, parenting philosophies, and other people or children that may live within the household (Home Study, pg. 2-4).  These are just a highlight of the types of questions that are asked of a couple who are looking to adopt.

     I feel that the questions above give a fairly good idea of the type of people and situation a child may be going to.  I would not change the type of questions asked because I feel that all the questions give a holistic idea of what a household would be like.  I also feel like it would give a good description of what type of parent someone hopes to be.  Though a parent may not end up parenting the way they had originally imagined.  Parenting has a learning curve and like all things in life; you can plan on doing it one way, but change your game plan depending on how life turns out. 

     A person’s life is stressful enough and the amount of time a person has outside of work, family, and miscellaneous life duties for most people are probably pretty minimal.  So, the thought of adding adoption to this list is overwhelming for me.  I just listed a very condensed version of the questionnaire prospective parents are supposed to answer.  When trying to answer these questions about myself, I found out very quickly that a short sentence or two would not suffice.  Though the questions are very short and to the point, the answers to them are not at all.  It would take a lot of time and thought to answer this questionnaire.  A person should note that this is just one part of the process and that the hours spent on this questionnaire is just a small chunk of the hours that will be spent on the process as a whole.  Overall, I think that this time would be well spent.  Becoming a parent is a big decision and people should have to think long and hard about the type of home, parent, and environment they could give their child. 

     In a perfect world, I would say ALL parents adoptive or not should go through a similar process, but that isn’t the type of world we live in.  But, one advantage that this process has for adoptive parents and children is that this process provides children with parents that are more equipped to provide a stable home from day one, as compared to a person that becomes a parent before they are ready or prepared for the challenge.  That type of person may take years to make a home “ideal” to a society’s standards or worst, they may never be able to give their child everything they deserve and need. 

Lisa R.     

Blog Post One, Julie T.

Blog Post One

As I took the adoption home study, I attempted to put myself in the spot of a prospective parent looking to adopt. While I was taking the home study I kept some questions in the back of my head, including the question, "are the right questions being asked of you as a prospective parent?" To which I answered, overall, yes. I think many of the questions were appropriately founded in trying to find out if a person would be eligible to take care of a child. They asked about the person's current life status and if they are expecting any large changes to occur, both of which would greatly affect the person's ability to bring a child into their family by either adoption or birth. Making sure that the parent is capable of raising an adopted child is extremely important because of the effect the adoptive parent will have on the child, as Susan Freivalds made clear in “Nature and Nurture a New Look at How Families Work.” In her work Freivalds discusses a study performed by the University of Minnesota that found  that adoptive siblings’ academic achievement levels and academic motivation levels were extremely similar, which Freivalds stated is “likely attributable to parental influence” (Freivalds, 2004, p. 86). This demonstrates how important it is that the right questions are being asked and the right conclusion on the applicant’s ability to care for a child is made because eventually that parent is going to shape that child.

The decision on if a person is ready for adoption is crucial, and though I believe overall the right questions are being asked in the home study, I do think that some of the questions could be misleading as to if the person taking the study would be a good parent or not.  An example of this would be asking about someone’s own childhood experiences. I believe that although our experiences shape us, we can overcome hardships in our past to prevent making the same mistakes. A person may have had a turbulent childhood, one that possibly included abuse, but that does not necessarily mean that that person will become an abuser themselves. This also applies to the question "what were your parents like?" (Home study, 2012, p. 3). I had wonderful parents, but that does not mean I will also become a wonderful parent. I do not know how the interviewer analyzes the answers, but I would hope that the fact that a person will not necessarily repeat their past comes into play.

Another question that caught my eye was the question "what is your religious affiliation?" (Home study, 2012, p. 4). I do not fully understand how a person's religious affiliation could either make them a better or worse parent. Are Buddhists better at raising children than Atheists? Or is it simply a question that is used to help match a child up with adoptive parents who have similar religious affiliations? I think this is something that I would be greatly interested in finding out more about. 

Finally, after taking the home study I reflected on how I would feel if I was infertile and wanted to adopt a child and I had to go through this process. I immediately felt worried. If I answered the questions honestly to a social worker, how would the analyze it? I would be overwhelmed with fear that I would say the wrong thing or make the wrong impression. I think there is a tremendous amount of pressure put on these prospective parents and I honestly cannot imagine a study like this determining if I was ever going to have a child or not.  

Julie T.