It was very interesting to hear Jackie and Sandy’s stories
because we have done so many readings like from Solinger and the baby scoop
era. Hearing it from them and knowing what they do today about adoption was
surprising. They had similar stories where they were pregnant and unwedded and
were sent away. Jackie had to wear a fake wedding ring and act like nothing
ever happened. Sandy’s mother told her that if she came home with the baby that
her mother would kill her. They both lived their lives with lies. How can it be
ethical when we lie about ourselves because we were told to? It was so
surprising that they had experience all of this from saying nothing for years
and years to now getting involved in adoption. I thought Sandy was very brave
for letting her baby go rather than bringing the baby back to the same life
that Sandy was living with her mother. Knowing how much Jackie wants her baby
girl back but, now she can’t is very troubling. I was also shocked at the fact
that the doctor who I think it was Jackie saw told her mom that she was
pregnant. I don’t think it is right for the doctor to have done that because he
did not keep confidentiality for Jackie. It’s not his job to do that because
his job is to take care of the patient and not get involved in her personal business.
I am sure they felt very frustrated.
I was also surprised that Sandy didn’t really want the birth
father to be involved because she was embarrassed. I wonder what he would have
done had her father instead told him to be responsible and help Sandy through
this decision. It’s annoying knowing that the birth fathers have no rights and
small involvement when in some cases birth fathers want to be. It reminds me of
Pertman on unnoticed birth fathers. If they were given a choice how would that
have changed the way things were then. It is unfair for both the birth mothers
and birth fathers.
-Ka L.
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